new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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