They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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