The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
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