Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
