We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
