Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
