Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
It's like God shit irony all over that family
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
NoShamevember. You game?
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
