Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
