Betty ford says i'm here all night
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I smell like Dick and happiness
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
