3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Me too!
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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