I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize