after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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