we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
