my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
