I'm going to jail i love you
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Randomize
