ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Randomize
