My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
