this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
