3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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