Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize