Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I can feel your judgement through the phone
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
