With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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