I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
