i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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