it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
