you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Screwed.edu
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
