Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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