And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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