he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
