I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
it's great music for shaving your balls
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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