Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
