And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
