i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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