and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
