I need help removing her.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
