hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Please don't give away my fajitas
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