I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
She bit a glass in half.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Well I just put wine in my tea
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
