ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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