I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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