I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
