Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
