Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Randomize
