Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
