Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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