Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
