Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
