The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
