Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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