her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
