I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize