She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
