I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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