Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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