Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Randomize
