He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
