My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
