i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
