ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
