I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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