i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
