No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
