I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
