Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
