love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
