I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
