we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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