can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I FOUND THE LEGS
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
