I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
