i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I deserve this hangover.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
