Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
