If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
nutella sex= disaster
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Randomize
