He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize