office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
