i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
