she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
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