Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
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