I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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