hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I am in a vortex of obligation.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
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