Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize
