he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
